What are some of the individual tracks about? There actually kind of is a lot of that on the record, because that is who I am deep down. I just tried to put that extreme oh my God if you don’t love me back I’m gonna die feeling that you have but you don’t want to outwardly express because it’s embarrassing. I was kind of making fun of myself in a way because I was getting so enveloped in this one love interest and it was almost ridiculous. It is really romantic, and at times sarcastically pathetic. And so the themes are really representative of so many different points in time. I took a lot of care in not forcing anything. I made sure that the people who I was working with were understanding that one of the most important things about songwriting for me is having time to do it. And then I need a few months to come back to it. I need to spend a few months on it, religiously, all night, no sleep. And then I decided that I wanted to put more time and work and revision in it. Right after we finished Habit, I had written “Pristine.” It was maybe gonna be a Habit B-side.
What was going on in your life when you were writing it? Lush is heavy, a little sad, and really romantic. It’s this pseudo satire comedy about all of these old people who are living in a retirement home together and waiting to die. Now I’m reading this book called Ending Up. It’s really good - it made me cry, like, every page. I just finished The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall, which is this classic lesbian novel from 1928. You don’t have to be a big personality for everyone all the time. Turn myself off in the car and at the hotel. I feel one hundred percent different than the last time I was at SXSW. So I just kind of keep my head down and care a lot about the songs. It’s real easy to get wrapped up in it and go down evil paths. It’s so disheartening to be surrounded by things that have nothing to do with your art. There’s sketchballs everywhere in the music industry world. Last time we spoke you told me about how the sudden attention from the industry was disorienting, how you put a lot of pressure on yourself and weren’t sure who to trust. It got to a point where I was like, I would feel like a shitty rock fan if I didn’t. I love Iceage and Kurt Vile and Steve Gunn. It feels like everyone who owns that label, or works on it, are just super interested in things that will last. I don’t feel like there are any bands on there that are trendy or riding out a hype cycle. They are just such rock revivalists, and they have a really cool sense of what is genuinely good right now.
I made a playlist of these songs especially for you, enjoy.I just had so much respect for them. Saddest Lyric: “I don’t think there’s anything wrong / I don’t think there’s anything wrong” Snail Mail combines optimism and pessimism into one beautiful package in “Thinning,” a song about something just feeling off. Saddest Lyric: “And he took my pearl / And left an empty shell of me” “Thinning” – Snail Mail One of Apple’s more straightforward ballads, she uses the sea as an extended metaphor for a returning and chronic sadness. Saddest Lyric: “Am I a bad daughter and a bad friend? / I know that I’m easily replaced” “Sullen Girl” – Fiona Apple Saddest Lyric: “Why’d you keep changing your mind?” “Static / Habit” – ADDIEĪnother song about feeling like you’re too much for everyone around you, ADDIE sums up the feeling of being isolated from someone you love. The semi-ambiguous lyrics and almost-whiny vocals combine for a uniquely sad ballad. Saddest Lyric: “They told me all of my cages were mental / So I got wasted like all my potential” “Mind” – Declan McKenna With the pleading hook of “I just wanted you to know that this is me trying,” Swift does an excellent job of encapsulating the feeling of not knowing if your best is good enough for someone else.
Saddest Lyric: “I’ve got a good feeling / It doesn’t happen very often” “this is me trying” – Taylor Swift “Demi Moore,” ends on an optimistic note, with the lyrics “I’ve got a good feeling / It doesn’t happen very often,” but the rest of the song is a yearning plea for love and comfort. There are many melancholic Phoebe Bridgers songs, it’s her niche and she does it well. Here are some songs that let me wallow in that feeling for a bit. I find it’s best to just let myself sit in it for a while, and to ride the wave. Some days, especially during summer, can be isolating and strange.